I've wanted a horse since I was a little girl. After only a few months of horse shopping I found my cute mare Daenerys (Dani) in 2012. Then in 2015 we moved from CO to NC and bought horse property. We now have Chance a sweet Arabian gelding. Then in 2022 I bought a younger and gaited horse, Kentucky Mountain horse, named Seamus. This is the story of my continuing adventure in the world of horses in my backyard.
November 06, 2022
Something So Obvious
October 03, 2022
Iceland and Icelandic Horses
This year has been a hard year and as the temperatures cool I'm happy that I'm now more than ever ready to dust off my mare and get back to riding. She has her insulin resistance issue still, got a little tender in early September but got her off any grass and she was good the next day and the vet wasn't too worried. I need to build up her sole some more and then when I ride see how boots work with her. Hopefully it will go well but of course I need to start with groundwork for now. She's very rusty and so am I!
The main goal in going to Iceland was to see the northern lights and then experience some more of this amazing earth on which we live. We had a mostly overcast week but we lucked out with a clear evening and a substorm of solar wind and a great northern lights display that made me tear up so much I lost a contact! Luckily that contact landed in a clear patch of walkway and I could place it back into it's place to enjoy the rest of the beautiful sky.
May 24, 2022
2022-Not My Favorite Year
This year has already been a hard year. My parents' health struggles continued (there was a blip about it in my post about Dani's hooves). I tend to keep this blog horse focused but there has not been much horse stuff for me aside from the regular care for my babies who are both doing well. Anways I digress.
The horrible news is that in January my father passed away after a long struggle to gain strength in the aftermath his emergency intestinal surgery last September. He was doing better and had just gotten through a surgery to reverse the ileostomy bag. His heart began beating faster so he went to ICU. The morning of January 14th he was talking with a nurse and then suddenly had a heart attack and went quick and peacefully. It was instant we were told which is at least some comfort.
My mother had two additional back surgeries to clear out the infection. The second included a graft of muscle due to her skin around the wounds turning black. Then she had an emergency surgery for a perforation of the intestine. She was so weak I was surprised she made it through any of those three surgeries.
After the memorial I had wanted to get her on a plane with me to bring her home to NC. That did not happen since she was so weak I couldn't possibly have been able to help her navigate the airports. The hospital would not have discharged her either. The plan was to get her strong enough to be discharged to rehab and we could then have her on a plane to NC with a nurse to assist her during the flight. That was apparently not going to happen either. I received a call from the palliative nurses at the hospital in early March. I had a conversation with my mother that she didn't want to fight anymore. She would have to have more surgeries to fight her infection and her physical improvement was virtually nonexistent. She wanted to be on hospice. It was a hard phone call. I figured out what to do financially and chartered a medical flight from CO to NC on March 18th.
The fact that she was nearby was a blessing. She got to see her grandchildren and son many times and I got to spend time with her as well. Mom was on hospice but they did evaluate her for physical therapy. That was not a possibility since she was in such a fragile state. The nurses did get her up to sit in a chair but my mother was not able to stand that for long. She continued to decline. I freaked out shortly after she arrived when she had a urinary tract infection that manifested with major confusion and hallucinations on her part. It was very scary to me but at least cleared up quickly, certainly a new and disconcerting experience. Then Mom had an Emergency Room visit due to uncontrolled bleeding from her abdominal sutures that should have been long healed.
My mother just wasn't healing. She ate some food but not enough and what little she ate didn't really absorb into her system. In mid May I was told by hospice that she was declining and they felt she would pass in the next two weeks. A day later that timeline was one week and the next day we were told and could see for ourselves that it was very imminent. My brother and sister-in law came down on a Thursday, my aunt (mom's sister) flew in from the Caribbean and Mom's brother from Pennsylvania came down as well as a cousin from Georgia.
We spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday with her in the small nursing home room. She was aware she was dying I'm sure on Wednesday when I saw her and held her hand and told her how much I appreciated and loved her. She was aware on Thursday and told us she loved us, it was hard to talk and she was more moans than words but we knew and she knew and much love was exchanged as we all held her hand. When she rested the family talked about memories and we hope that with hearing being the last sense to go that Mom heard the happy memories and about how much we loved her. Friday she somewhat responded to us talking to her. Then Saturday her breathing was very gasping and labored. We didn't get much response from her. We all said we loved her and said our goodbyes probably 5 times throughout the day between going to lunch or taking breaks. When we left that evening we felt like this was the very last time we'd speak to her.
This has been the hardest thing I've had to do. Caring for my mother, trying not to be overwhelmed with everything that comes with being a Power of Attorney and Executor of an Estate, grieving for my passed father while staying strong to support my dying mother and then also trying to be there for her in the end and questioning whether I did enough. Now we live on...without Dad and without Mom, to carry on their love and reflect on the memories.
Dad died January 14th and Mom died May 14th. Exactly four months apart. I'm still in shock that both my parents are gone. Their lives over and plans ended. They were 72 and 74, still young enough to have been able to enjoy the golden years. It's hard to believe that 2022 isn't even at its halfway point and I feel like I've aged several years thus far. The road of grief lies before me but hopefully healing and peace as well. Peace be with you Mom and Dad, I'll love you forever.
December 29, 2021
The Future of Horsing for me
Looking back at the past few years I see my neck surgery that prevented me from riding for a year really set me back, only physically for a period of time, doctor's orders, after that it was mental. Once I was back and able to ride I'd honestly been out of the habit of riding regularly. It was too easy to just fall back to not riding and prioritize other activities. We have more than enough projects at our house and on the property that I've done more with those items than riding Daenerys. Why? That's the hard part...lack of motivation, tired from work, the gosh darn humid hot summers I hate....who knows.
Chance is officially retired due to his degenerative suspensory ligaments (DSL) in his hindlegs. We are trying to manage his heaves and Cushings and hopefully not riding him will keep him comfortable in relation to the DSL. He's a sweet horse to have a around and for Dani to boss around. But Dani, she'll be good to go I hope in a few months. She never was going to be an eventing horse but well, I'm not an eventing rider either!
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The evil equihaler |
What do I want in the future of horsing? That's a tough one, I feel like there is often stuff in my life I want to do but then I just get tied up with other stuff. I have to stay set on my priorities; that's always been difficult for me. What I always wanted to do is go on trail rides, go to clinics about doing trail obstacles and fun trail competition (ride and tie, small endurance type events etc). I love riding Dani but there will come a day when she can't or shouldn't be ridden just like with Chance.
Then there is the trailering issue, I have not had success with trailering Dani. She has gotten on a trailer and has been a good girl at times but swinging the dividers or closing the door, that's when she really puts up the fight. I haven't been able to deal with that as someone not experienced with trailering horses. Adding this complexity to it had been a bit much and moving to NC I lost my horse network that helped me with these types of things. Here I have to trailer my horse to events to build that network but I can't trailer my horse....chicken and the egg. My fearful mind would wonder "what if I successfully trailer her somewhere but then can't get her back on afterwards and I'm stuck in a parking lot with a silly horse that won't load?"
Dani is a homebody and that's okay. I love her to pieces not matter what. She is my first horse, the horse that I could trust after having some fearful falls, the horse that I knew was a great match for me. She had some challenges but is a perfect partner to play around with; my crazy chestnut mare. With the new pasture design we are working on there is an area in the difficult slopping pasture that is flatter; I am going to make this my dedicated riding area. Maybe someday it will officially be like an arena with good footing but for now it will work as a dedicated pony work area. This was going to be the area for Steve's workshop (my riding area was then going to be where we tore out an older shed). We priced buildings and were floored so he's altering plans and now I have too....that's how it goes.
I'm starting to research a future horse. A younger but well trained horse that I can cart all over the place and do clinics, trail rides etc. I've been wanting to learn about some gaited breeds too. This next year I'll be looking at some Kentucky/Rocky Mountain horses, Paso Finos and maybe Peruvian Pasos, I've already reached out to breeders where I can come meet their horses and ride some to help decide if I want a gaited breed and if so what kind. If I have a horse that I can trailer with no problem I'll be able to start to build a horse friend network here that I haven't thus far; not being able to bring Dani to events has been a little isolating. When I boarded her....I met people, I rode with people and there was a shared good time by horse people. I loved that about boarding.
Steve is not really a rider. He really needs a horse that he can just get on every once in a while having not ridden in 6 months...so probably no horse for him. He'll go for a trail ride at a trail ride rental place with me but he doesn't have the time or desire really to learn to ride and do it regularly. That's fine. He really wants a donkey, so we'll get him a donkey someday I guess. In Colorado we'd planned on getting that 3 horse trailer and then another horse and perhaps a mule or donkey and going on trips, and overnighters with the riding club. Obviously that never happened.
I was hoping the venture of horse riding was going to become a thing Steve would enjoy. He loves the horses and loves caring for them but riding and getting out on trails isn't really a draw for him. For me I need to truly understand that and continue on my own. Sure he'll come to some events and hang out. Maybe I can get him involved in a ride an tie type event since he wants to get back into running....so do I actually. If we get a horse that we can cart around we can do an event like that and maybe have a ball together! And when it's just me and that horse we can do other events.
So the next few months I plan to get into better shape, just like Dani I've had a bit too much grass! I may ride locally at a place I found that rents horses for trail or arena work. And then I'll work with Dani once I get the vets okay and play with her around here. My neighbors ride in the woods nearby and if I get Dani back up to speed we could go too I hope. My neighbors are nice but I'm not sure how comfortable I'll be riding with them since even after 6 years we are still the new kids on the block.
Dani's a good horse that you don't need to ride often to keep their head in the game, that's one of her great qualities. She could be a horse Steve could hop up on occasionally if I keep her ridden some. She's my special girl. I love her to pieces and I really hope that she will be long lived. I will do my hardest to figure out how to manage Cushings and insulin resistance in her. I won't give up on trailering her either, with a future horse that can be trailered why not try and see if Dani can come too? That would mean getting Steve to come out to ride....I have to just concentrate on me.....going off on tangents and the same dream as before. This is my hobby, my love. I have to do what is right for me. Steve's supportive but not a cowboy.
I'm reminded of Colorado, me and skiing. I went a lot with the man I dated before Steve. This man was passionate about skiing. I loved it too and went with him and we really enjoyed skiing. When I started dating Steve I continued to go skiing and he occasionally went with me and we had fun. I started going less and less though since I missed hanging out with Steve and I didn't have ski buddies to go with, it was fun but I was becoming bored honestly. It wasn't a passion, so it didn't bother me that much that I went less. Then I started leasing a horse, then I bought one. Weekends were now pony time!
Since horses are my love I can't be held back by wanting to do other things with Steve or by all the house projects I have on my to do list. I have to dedicate time to riding and I know he understands and encourages it...it's the voice in my head that wants to hang out with him or do stuff together and feels bad that I'm out in the barn or what not. There is time for hanging with the hubs, I just have to prioritize my interests too. I have to cut out the time for myself and my pony friends, pen it in on the calendar. It's important for me.
But now I have a thought, perhaps it was easier to plan this time out when it wasn't a "daily out the back door gotta muck and feed everyday" kinda thing. When my horse was a car drive away and I didn't see her everyday, each time I made the trip I was there to ride, I groomed, I played! It's been too easy to fall into the idea that I see my horses everyday and I muck and feed everyday, pick hooves or clean up a silly beast that rolled on poop...that's good enough. It's great I get that time, don't get me wrong. I love having horses in my back yard. Going outside to grill or get a tool from the shed I'm nickered at; that will never get old. I have to block off time to do the really fun stuff, the riding and training stuff!
With time being so limited on this earth I need to make the time to do what I love. Dani will heal and I hope I will be riding her early next year. I also hope to find a horse that I can load, trail ride and go out and meet horse people here. I miss the comradery that is "horse people".
It's very alien to think about buying another horse. I knew logically I would eventually get another horse as Chance was aging and Dani is only one year younger. This laminitis episode has made me really assess my horse life. I will ride Dani when she's better, I'm confident that will be a possibility. And I will begin a new adventure with another horse too, that can expand my horizons some. In my head I feel like I would be abandoning Dani but that's silly. If you only have a Fiat but you need to haul things because hauling things is how you make a living, well you buy a truck right?
I knew buying Dani that she didn't load or haul well. I accepted that, she was perfect for me in every other way and I've grown and learned so much with her and continue to learn! She is my heart. I shouldn't feel weird about getting another horse to do more with right?
So this is the future of horsing for me. I miss being fully immersed in the horse world with other horse people. This coming year I have breeders to meet and horse breeds to learn about. This world is full of noise that pulls you in so many directions. Don't forget your center. What is your center, what makes you calm, whole, happy? Is your center painting? Is it skiing? Mountain biking? Hiking? Writing? Horses?
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Horses.
December 08, 2021
Rusty Trailer- New Beginnings

December 07, 2021
Daenerys Update
November 09, 2021
Laminitis

July 06, 2021
The Shitty Side of Things
August 28, 2020
Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) aka Heaves
August 13, 2020
Evil Humidity and Heat
I hate summer. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a heat person. I like the 70s or cooler. 50 degrees or 40 degrees, particularly dry cold, I barely need a jacket. I hate North Carolina summers.
There are thing that are nice about it though. Frogs. Bees. Dragonflies. Fireflies. "Free" horse forage. Beaches.
Funny that the first few things I mention are critter related, and mainly insect related. Hahaha. I think for horses, summers are also the least favorite season. It's hot, there are flies, and even when the human rinses them will nice cool water the huge horse flies seem to b-line for their haunches.
I haven't ridden in a ridiculously long time and summer certainly never helps the matter. I don't like being outside in the summer but I have to in order to mow our pastures, care for the horses or inspect the bees. When I'm done with all the outdoor chores I just want to retreat into the nice cool inside and take a cool shower to rid myself of the dirt and sweat.
I often have the though that I should wake up early and do some riding before the heat comes but that never seems to happen.
My poor horses sweat so much when it's 70 percent humidity and 90 degrees or more. I wish I could bring them inside. They have full water troughs that are not exactly chilled water which sucks but they do have the cool barn and two fans that blow everyday....an electric bill I"m more than willing to pay. The deserve it.
Some days I go outside to care for them and see they are crusted with salt from all the sweat. How miserable. I hose them off often and I think they really enjoy that cooling effect, though I think a water heater could help so the water isn't so darn cold on their tender areas!
I've been assessing the areas around the barn as to where the most logical place would be to build a washrack where Dani and Chance don't end up standing in mud every time I hose them off. In the barnyard I've found a location that appears to be an optimal place though I will need to build up the area with leftover Chapel Hill gravel I have from the barn mud project.
I purchased a 10 x 12 mat from stall savers. It's permeable and will work nicely as a wash rack ground cover. I used it today in the area of question, no substrate there yet so eventually a puddle formed during the second horse bath. It worked pretty nicely and I think it shows promise that I can get this set up with little effort.
Both horses loved the bath and afterwards seemed to be much less itchy. I hate itchy ponies! The only thing that makes me so mad about giving them a water rinse is that it seems to attract the biggest horseflies. I try to smack the flies but they are too fast. I have to spray the horses down with fly spray after the rinse which is a bummer. And of course they both end up rolling in the dirt while still damp but the bath was certainly not for vanity.
Luckily we are in August and that means September and then October follows which means a little bit cooler temperatures. I would love to get out of the 90s into the lower 80s. That would be fantastic! I'm sure Dani and Chance agree!