Saying Goodbye to Stubs

 Stubs shared several posts on this blog back in 2013 and beyond when I started boarding Dani at a self care stable in Colorado Springs.

The origin of Stubs was one of the boarders had adult children that found 3 wild kittens.  Instead of taming them and neutering them the boarder decided that bringing them to the self care barn and feeding them there would be a good idea this was about a year before I'd brought Dani to the barn.  The kittens were not bonded to any humans.  The fate of one kitten was that it ended up in the clubs garage unbeknownst to anyone and perished.  The other disappeared (coyotes are potentially a stow-away in a horseshow person's trailer).  Then there was Stubs.

Stubs had a full blown tail at one point and I was told by the boarder that one day she found a bodyless tail on the ground.  Either a horse stepped on it or a predator.  Obviously Stubs had gotten away and survived the harrowing ordeal.  What a traumatic life.  My heart still hurts to think of her life there.  

When I joined the barn with Dani and learned of all this I made it a point to set out food and on occasion of seeing Stubs talking to her softly. She was an unnamed cat at at the time I didn't know her sex, the short stubby tail made me think Stubs was a good barn name for her.....um him.....lol.  That fall I'd heard from that one of the club members that this little kitty had a litter of kittens, okay. So now she was Little Miss Stubs.  They couldn't get ahold of her but when the kittens were old enough they adopted them out.  Stubs remained.

It was getting into winter and the time change meant I was there at the barn later when it got dark.  Stubs would appear near Dani and I's run to go eat her food.  I'd seen her a lot and stayed chatting with her often.  I started bringing wet food regularly and ended up staying quite a while with Dani and Stubs, the three of us just chilling in the evening hours.  

A polar vortex was on the way and I feared for this dear little girl having already spend a hard 1.5 year living outside pretty much on her own raising kittens....eating kibble yes but I know for sure mice and baby bunnies were on the menu.  I seen this tiny bobcat in action!  I felt a connection to her and wanted to give her a better life or at the very least get her spayed.

I talked with a coworker at the Public Health Department that worked with feral cats.  He said his wife would trap them and then brining them in for trap neuter release and he'd lend me a trap.  I wasn't sure about TNR.  As I was growing closer to her I felt we would eventually reach that trust level and she could be an indoor cat.  I just knew it in my heart that if I trapped Stubs, she would never have to live outside on her own again.

The trapping was a success but took several resets due to her small size.  I took her home and began the work of gaining her trust.  I was hissed at that first night but after that there wasn't too much animosity.  I fed her and spent the evenings with her in our guest room.  She warmed up to me and has been my dear Mini Meow ever since.

Stubs made good friends with Armani our tuxedo cat.  They snuggled and played.  Then in 2015 when we moved to NC with them, our two dogs and later Dani.  Stubs was always kind of my cat while Armani was Steve's.  Armani loved me too and cuddled with me as well but there was a special bond with Steve.  With Stubs, I was her person.  Steve could barely hold Stubs....she always seemed to have her paws pushing away from him or he held her like a machine gun.  She was affectionate with him don't get me wrong.  And in the last couple years with Steve working from home, she decided his desk was the place to be during the day.

Stubs slept by my pillow nearly every night.  She sometimes had times where she wanted to sleep elsewhere but after a weekend away she was then stuck to me like glue on the return. 

Her cute little trot down the hall was always the cutest thing to witness.  Without her tail there just seemed to be an added element of cuteness to that derriere of hers!  Even though she'd lost her tail tragically it never stopped her and it just added to her charm. She loved boxes as all cats did, but she seemed to take it to the next level of ridiculousness and managed to squish herself into the smallest boxes.

Other kitties joined the household as we found a kitten under a bush as my work or we had a lone neighborhood kitten eating food from our outdoor kitty we inherited from friends.  Stubs let them all know she was boss.  She was the smallest of the household but even the dogs knew who ran the show!

When my parents passed she knew when I was sad and made it a point to be near me whether I was sitting at my desk, the sofa or in the bedroom.  She was my forever comfort.  Later when Dani passed, and I sat waiting for the day to have the Agape Service company pick up her remains I laid on the sofa to cry and try to find distraction on TV.  Stubs snuggled next to me to comfort me in my need.

This past year she lost her friend Armani in May 2025, he was 17.  She didn't seem to have too much trouble but she again was comfort to both Steve and I in losing our dear Armani. 

Stubs had kidney disease that was under control with her diet but the past couple years she seemed to not keep as much weight on so she was in the vets more often. Recently this fall they got her on a blood pressure medication but didn't see anything worrying about her thyroid.  We tried to get her to eat more food.  Then she started to have major issues with her back legs.  Tests were all fine and it was concluded it was most likely a slipped disc.  We went the acupuncture route and over 4 weeks her mobility improved with getting her legs under her and standing up better.  She also had gained about a pound.

We were very optimistic that she would continue to improve.  We got steps for the bed and sofa so she could get to her favorite places when she decided she didn't need sequester herself in the office "I.C.U." that we'd built around her new chosen sleeping spot.

Then after her last acupuncture she seemed to be eating less.  She occasionally had days where she seemed a little in pain from all the movement she'd been doing. One evening we noted some more labored breathing but it was short lived. Then Steve noticed she had a harder say moving around, her legs seemed a bit weaker.  The labored breathing was back with a wheezing sound.  I recorded it so I could play it for the vet the next day and hopefully get a check up appointment.  I gave Stubs her evening meds but within a minute she started vomiting violently and the wheezing increased quickly, she was having convulsions.  I was suddenly panicked not knowing what was going on and tried to help her but she went limp almost immediately.  She passed within a few moments.  It was so sudden.  

The heartbreak is almost unbearable.  In May we lost Armani, July we lost Dani and now in February we lost Stubs...the last 3 of our dear critters that came with us from Colorado.  Losing 3 pets in less than a year.  That is really, really hard.

My dear Stubs was 14.  I'd hoped that the slipped disc was healing and that she'd be around a couple more years, though not quite as agile. I know only too well that you can't avoid the inevitable.  Something else was going on and though Stubs tried so hard in her last 2 months death comes for us all. I loved her dearly and feel like she loved me just as much.  She was my little girl, my tough nugget, my mini meow. My sweet dear Stubs, I hope you know how much you meant to me. I hope you know how much you were loved.  We tried our hardest for you.  I will miss you forever and cherish every moment that I had with you.  I love you.

The End of 2025 was a Face Plant

 This year did not end the way I had hoped.  The horses had been doing well and the kitties inside were doing well. We'd gone to Cancun for Thanksgiving with friends. We were excited for some more time off.

Steve and I were planning to go to FL to see his family for Christmas.  We were really looking forward to it since it'd been a while since we were down there for a holiday. The evening before the flight, we were getting ready to go to our homebrew club holiday party. I went out to feed the horses and while grabbing hay after giving the supplements to Seamus I heard a very odd sound.  It was kind of a retching sound.  I saw Seamus spin slightly and stomp his front foot. I went into the house and told Steve, and went to grab my phone.  When I came back out he said there was a lot of mucus coming out of Seamus's nose....it was choke. I called the vet. immediately.

The vet told us since it just happened to wait about 15 minutes and call her back, sometimes things aren't that bad and it sorts itself out.  That was a long 15 minutes.  We tried to walk him some and she said to stroke his neck in the area where the blockage was. Things didn't improve so she was there shortly after my second call. He was in pain, coughed up a lot of mucus and a lot of mucus came out his nose.  I felt helpless.  Once she arrived we got warm water started since she was going to tube him to get the obstruction out. It was a gross process, I don't do well with vomit, snot and the like.  I held it together without retching myself till just about near the end when a lot of the food bits came out.  I did good though and Seamus's obstruction was  finally clear. 

The Unbeetables Pellets I used as the carrier for his supplements didn't get soaked long enough and Seamus has been bolting his small ration lately so that combo led to this incident.  I feel like such a fool.

Some snot still two days later so we started antibiotics

The next couple days were busy.  We didn't go to FL which our family understood.  I fed very small mushy meals of just hay pellets....er, hay mush.  After about 48 hours he still had a good amount of mucus from his nose so I contacted the vet about that.  To prevent a lung infection due to any aspiration from his procedure he was prescribed antibiotics for a week.  Within a few days the snotty nose did clear up; he was good about taking his apple flavored powder for the course.

We are still on a mush regimen since I'm now paranoid.  My old 27 year old gelding hates mushy food but he takes his time eating his pellets.  Seamus, the 6 year old is the one that has to eat the mush....it's so backwards!  But horses are weird. I'm glad to say that he is completely back to his normal self. Not how I wanted to end the year though!

A week after Seamus's ordeal Stubs started eating less and less to almost nothing.  She also started to have trouble getting up on the sofa where she liked to sit with us. We got her into the vet and she'd lost a good amount of weight since her October appointment.  Stubs has been on a kidney diet for 5 years now and in the last year has been getting a little skinnier (she's 13 years old). She's been in a couple times for tests etc. Thyroid is slightly low and she now has high blood pressure. She was already on some medications...now we have a little mini cat pharmacy going.

Two weeks before she was "helping" me wrap presents

The vet did many tests and all were inconclusive.  The suspicion was a urinary infection, though that seemed very slight. We treated for the symptoms with a planned x-ray or ultrasound the following week if things were still off. There could be a tumor, gut inflammation or even some type of spinal injury.  Her backend has gotten weaker where it's very hard for her to walk about.  It's been a few days since we started the treatments and she has eaten a little. We are giving her treats, sneaking in kibble, and have a couple senior cat higher calorie supplements she seems to like.  One evening she came all the way down the stairs to come to bed to sleep in her normal spot by my head. Eating is off and on, sometimes she just not interested. I just have no idea where to go from here.  We are in the wait and see and it just sucks. We have her on meds for nausea, a steroid and then also a painkiller/anti-inflammatory- plus an appetite stimulant. 

The little ICU built around the spot she's decided to stay

She has sequestered herself on the bottom shelf where we've had a self warmer (reflective) pad that the cats like to take naps on.  We've set up a little ICU around her with her microchip feeder nearby, a water fountain which she is still good about drinking and then a litter pan that is shallow and easier than the other one to navigate.  We've seen her use both but it's good to have options. We are trying to give her options to eat throughout the day...I haven't seen her use her feeder so we bring stuff directly to her. We have another appointment set up this week, unless we feel she need to come in sooner. This wait and see is no fun. 

My holiday break has been different from what I'd planned. I've been nurse to one animal or another and the worry has left me less motivated to do any of the projects I had on my list. It's been a little rough but I'm happy to do it; they are my babies. It's so stressful not knowing what to do to help them but we try our best I guess.