2022-Not My Favorite Year

This year has already been a hard year.  My parents' health struggles continued (there was a blip about it in my post about Dani's hooves). I tend to keep this blog horse focused but there has not been much horse stuff for me aside from the regular care for my babies who are both doing well. Anways I digress.

The horrible news is that in January my father passed away after a long struggle to gain strength in the aftermath his emergency intestinal surgery last September.  He was doing better and had just gotten through a surgery to reverse the ileostomy bag.  His heart began beating faster so he went to ICU.  The morning of January 14th he was talking with a nurse and then suddenly had a heart attack and went quick and peacefully.  It was instant we were told which is at least some comfort.

All of us were heartbroken and shocked because he'd been improving.  My mother in the assisted living home was told in person by my father's sister, her priest, and my brother and I were on the phone 2,000 miles away. We were out in Colorado that following week dealing with his death and arrangements that were made for the end of February.  Then we headed home while my aunt and cousin stayed to assist mom and continue packing up the house. We needed to get mom to assisted living near my brother and I as soon as we could after dad's memorial.

About a week later my mother had a doctor's appointment and that infection in her sutures, the infection that reared its ugly head back in September, had come back with a vengeance.  I flew out two weeks before the memorial to help my mother in the hospital and continue with the efforts for packing up the house in prep for moving and then selling of their house.  My mother wanted to be in NC near me so I also spent time while out there and while I was in NC looking for assisted living places for her.

My mother had two additional back surgeries to clear out the infection.  The second included a graft of muscle due to her skin around the wounds turning black.  Then she had an emergency surgery for a perforation of the intestine.  She was so weak I was surprised she made it through any of those three surgeries. 

After the memorial I had wanted to get her on a plane with me to bring her home to NC. That did not happen since she was so weak I couldn't possibly have been able to help her navigate the airports. The hospital would not have discharged her either. The plan was to get her strong enough to be discharged to rehab and we could then have her on a plane to NC with a nurse to assist her during the flight. That was apparently not going to happen either. I received a call from the palliative nurses at the hospital in early March.  I had a conversation with my mother that she didn't want to fight anymore.  She would have to have more surgeries to fight her infection and her physical improvement was virtually nonexistent. She wanted to be on hospice.  It was a hard phone call.  I figured out what to do financially and chartered a medical flight from CO to NC on March 18th.

Mom arrived late friday night on a stretcher to a nursing home in Hillsborough, NC. Assisted living was out the question with her needs and that was hard to convey to her.  The hope was maybe she would get stronger, since she was out of the hospital and with my brother and I nearby to encourage her.  She was positive for those first weeks and it was great to see her regularly. I made sure to always keep pretty flowers visible from her bedside.  Some weeks I was there every day as I got her settled but I needed to pace myself too.  There was a lot to still do with finances and then a discovery that my dad's life insurance probably was not there to assist with her increased needs.  Long story but it was a blow and I was overly worried about how to care for my mother and pay for the medical flight from CO to NC.

The fact that she was nearby was a blessing.  She got to see her grandchildren and son many times and I got to spend time with her as well.  Mom was on hospice but they did evaluate her for physical therapy.  That was not a possibility since she was in such a fragile state. The nurses did get her up to sit in a chair but my mother was not able to stand that for long.  She continued to decline.  I freaked out shortly after she arrived when she had a urinary tract infection that manifested with major confusion and hallucinations on her part.  It was very scary to me but at least cleared up quickly, certainly a new and disconcerting experience.  Then Mom had an Emergency Room visit due to uncontrolled bleeding from her abdominal sutures that should have been long healed.

My mother just wasn't healing.  She ate some food but not enough and what little she ate didn't really absorb into her system. In mid May I was told by hospice that she was declining and they felt she would pass in the next two weeks.  A day later that timeline was one week and the next day we were told and could see for ourselves that it was very imminent.  My brother and sister-in law came down on a Thursday, my aunt (mom's sister) flew in from the Caribbean and Mom's brother from Pennsylvania came down as well as a cousin from Georgia. 

We spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday with her in the small nursing home room.  She was aware she was dying I'm sure on Wednesday when I saw her and held her hand and told her how much I appreciated and loved her.  She was aware on Thursday and told us she loved us, it was hard to talk and she was more moans than words but we knew and she knew and much love was exchanged as we all held her hand. When she rested the family talked about memories and we hope that with hearing being the last sense to go that Mom heard the happy memories and about how much we loved her. Friday she somewhat responded to us talking to her.  Then Saturday her breathing was very gasping and labored.  We didn't get much response from her.  We all said we loved her and said our goodbyes probably 5 times throughout the day between going to lunch or taking breaks.  When we left that evening we felt like this was the very last time we'd speak to her.

I kissed her forehead, told her "Peace be with you mom. I will love you forever". I left soft harp music playing when we all took our leave that evening.  I hope the music was soothing in her last hours.  She passed within 2 hours after we left.  Maybe even right after we left, who knows.  That's the hard part.  We weren't there, the medical nurse checked on her and discovered she'd passed.  The hospice nurse had warned us that most likely she would pass when we weren't there and to not be troubled by the possibility. She knew we were there in the days leading up. We all had held her hand, told her we loved her and supported her until her mind was most likely floating somewhere between this world and the next.  

This has been the hardest thing I've had to do.  Caring for my mother, trying not to be overwhelmed with everything that comes with being a Power of Attorney and Executor of an Estate, grieving for my passed father while staying strong to support my dying mother and then also trying to be there for her in the end and questioning whether I did enough. Now we live on...without Dad and without Mom, to carry on their love and reflect on the memories.   

Dad died January 14th and Mom died May 14th. Exactly four months apart. I'm still in shock that both my parents are gone. Their lives over and plans ended.  They were 72 and 74, still young enough to have been able to enjoy the golden years.  It's hard to believe that 2022 isn't even at its halfway point and I feel like I've aged several years thus far. The road of grief lies before me but hopefully healing and peace as well. Peace be with you Mom and Dad, I'll love you forever.

Christmas Time Family Fun

Oh wow is this draft old!!  It was just pictures with my intent to fill in what went on this fall and Christmas.  We had Steve's family over for Thanksgiving and then headed up to my brother's in VA for Christmas.  The week before I had the delight of my parents flying in from CO to visit us here for the first time.  My parents loved Geek acres! 

In November we had a new nephew, Colton, born.  Bryson has a little brother now and is happy as a clam and such a sweet brother to him.  My parents were ecstatic to meet their new grandchild!

My mom was constantly holding the little guy.  Dad baked pies with Bryson and Steve and I just visited with everyone.

Most of December leading up to this point saw me working on a monster book of monsters for Steve.  We are big harry potter fans but Steve didn't like the cheap looking books they had in Orlando.  I decided to tap into the creativity and make him his very own monster book.  I may post a how I did it post here in a bit.  I ran into many obstacles where I had to improvise but it turned out great and Steve loved it.  Here see Stubs sleeping with it on the loveseat.  Poor thing didn't know I put it there and when she opened her eyes she jumped 3 feet in the air!!!  Afterwards she sniffed it and then began cleaning the fur, LOL.

So in a nutshell that was Christmas.  The ponies got some nice grooming but no riding.  They are so spoiled not having to work lately but I'm looking into getting some lessons again so that will definitely change.

In the news, today hubby and I are going to tractor hunt!!  Plus we got a manure spreader!  I'll post about that very soon since it's very exciting to finally be getting things we need to make chores that much easier!

Apple Picking Season!!

Yeah, not that kind of apple.....  :-(

The horses are now going to be kept in the Wormhole and The Shire for the winter while we work on the rejuvenating other two pastures (post to follow).  Since we cannot rotate pastures because of that nor let manure dry out for a couple weeks after being harrowed (dragged) we have to resort to picking the field again to prevent parasite issues in our ponies.

This means we get to pick the field every week!  We've gone a couple weeks without doing such and it took us a while to get The Shire cleaned up today.  It was a gorgeous breezy fall day so I can't complain.  We need to do a final mow too so it will be easier to rake the piles and spot treat any weeds until we can let this pasture rest and reseed next spring.  

Unfortunately our apple trees are still too little to get edible apples so we must be satisfied with pony apples. We are going in two weeks to get four more apple trees and a couple pear trees!  Can't wait to have our little orchard fully mature!!  I'm sure the ponies will benefit from it as well!

It's been a few nice weeks of fall-ish weather here in NC, some hotter than others and many trees are starting to change. We luckily avoided the flooding and other issues further south and east of us. The grass is becoming dormant despite the rains and I'm switching to hay...which means I am now able to get back into the feed room.  Two weeks ago the hay was right up to the door so the ponies had the task of eating our way back into the feed room.

It seems our house and property are unending with projects.  We have discovered mushrooms in our house windowsills so we need to replace our wooden windows, NOW.  The same company is going to put gutters on the barn so we will finally get working on our drainage project.  The shed still needs to be finished too.  We are in it for the long haul so it's good to get all this work done now and we can enjoy it sooner.  Being this is the second house we've owned with wooden and difficult windows to open I'm really excited about vinyl energy saving windows!!!  The ponies are happy and healthy and don't seem to care about any changes we make to our house or property. Fall is a busy time (like summer wasn't?)

I am happy with the weather being much more tolerable for outdoor work, fall has always been my favorite season.  Next summer I will have to just bite the bullet and arise early to avoid riding or working in the heat of midday. Even though I wish I had more time for the ponies I love having a property where they can be in my backyard and I can love on them whenever I desire.  Nickers in the morning is the best way to start my day!

Beachy

Steve and I headed to Carolina Beach at the beginning of September but after labor day weekend.  It was a ncie serene weekend and much needed.  We have done too much mowing with a tiny mower this year, a weekend doing nothing but sitting on the beach was a necessary getaway.

Our hotel was right on the beach and we rented an umbrella and two chairs.  It was nice to sit, drink and play in the water.  We got a boogie board and rode the waves into the shore.  So much fun!  Having been land locked for a long time it's nice to live only a couple hours from some lovely beaches!

Steve was sexy and silly as always...

I got to try out my new star trek cover-up and pretended we were on Risa, the tropical vacation planet of the Alpha quadrant.

And of course the obligatory picture above.....

Live long and prosper!

The Oasis at Geek Acres

Right on the edge of our property is a little grove of trees.  It's nice and shady most of the time and a perfect relaxing hammock location.  At our house in CO I hung a hammock between our little apple trees and would love just chilling out listening to the wind and birds.  Here it's even more serene being in the country with less traffic noise.

It was over grown with underbrush so Steve got his handy chain saw out and went to work while I helped and hauled some mulch.

It was a lot to trim up and haul away but it's wonderful being all open now!

It's funny our little snake friend came out from the woods to inspect it and curl up on the edge of the shade when we were done.  I didn't want to disturb him so I didn't get a picture, plus we were ready to leave and go shower inside our cool house.

The next weekend after our mulch was layed down we hung up our hammocks.  Steve has a camping one that hugs you and I have a classic woven lounger with wooden ends.  It was very peaceful and well deserved to take a break on afternoon.  Seems all we've done with summer so far is mow and do another project....soon to be posted.

Steve even made hammocks for our beers!  We brought a cooler full of drinks and spent a couple hours napping in "The Oasis".  I'll have to bring a book sometime too.  The horses were in Westeros, the pasture closest to the grove, and were very interested in watching us hammocking.  Chance was also a little curious and worried about Spencer who happened to have a cone on his head because of stitches.

You know what the coolest thing is?  If you build something awesome in your yard...gnomes always seem to find a way to enjoy it with you!

Beer Touring

Steve's parents stayed after New Years since they offered to take care of our critters while we attended Marie's wedding.  That also gave us all time to check out some more breweries.

Oi my liver....and yet yum.  There was also another cool flight tray at this brewery!  Lonerider was pretty good too.  Lots of beers I liked so certainly a place we'll have to return.

Steve and his mom.

Mac and I.

New Year's day my brother who only lives 3 hours north of me came down to hang.  We went to Ponysaurus Brewery.  I don't know if I'm liking this one the best so far because of the name, atmosphere or the drinks available but it's a great brewery and I highly recommend it!

Selfie with beer!

Family time is fun even if it means fewer chances to ride the ponies.  The benefit of having them in the back yard will be that I work with them more often.  Here's hoping to good weather and more riding chances!

My Bestie's Wedding

My best friend Marie got married in January.  We headed to Houston, TX for the ceremony.  I was one of the bridesmaids along with her two sisters.  Before the big day we all went out to a nice dinner just us girls and many of Marie's friends in Houston.  Marie lives in Ankey, IA and her future husband was in Oklahoma for a while but they are both now ending up in Houston.

It was a hard thing to plan a wedding from another state but what a gorgeous wedding it was!  I cried many times even before the big day.  It makes me so happy to see my best friend so happy.  I really like Raja her husband. They are a perfect match!  So for the night out with the girls I was told to be more dressy.  I'm a jeans and tee shirt kinda gal so this was different.  I still had jeans but donned mud free cowboy boots and a cute top.  I did my hair in air dried beachy waves.

Marie was badass as always and though I know she was exhausted from little sleep and lots of preparations she had a  great time and I think was pleased to have long time friends there to celebrate her night.  Several drinks and good food with friends makes for a great evening!

The day of was pretty well organized.  Marie is not a picky person and was one of the most relaxed brides I've ever seen.  Her dress was gorgeous and she was stunning.

I had to bring Percy our traveling penguin along.  He was at Steve and I's wedding and was a hit with all our friends and family.  He wanted to at least come along and wish Marie well.

So here are Steve and I all gussied up for the wedding.  I'm wearing pearls!!!  Fake ones but still. I'm also wearing lace!!!!! Mandy, one of Marie's sisters had the idea we could do fuzzy wraps.  I wasn't sure about that but we all went with it and it turned out awesome.  It was like 1950's Hollywood glam!  Plus it was a weird chilly day in Houston and we were freezing so the warm wraps actually helped a little!

The next two pics are not mine, I think a family friend Sara took the one and Raja took the other.  I'm hoping I'll be able to show some cool professional pics once Marie gets those back, I know they are  going to be fantastic!

Look at the happy couple!

The wedding topper was perfect.  Marie has always loved elephants and it's awesome that her husband is an Indian man.  It's like fate or something.  She clicks really well with his culture and has already taken and plans to take more trips to India with him to see his family.  The rehearsal dinner had Marie dressed in traditional Indian attire and it was gorgeous.  The water works started there for me!

This is a glimpse of the reason I was gussied up....a fantastic occasion watching my bestie say vows with a wonderful man.  I'm looking forward to getting to know him better and seeing where their marriage takes them.  Cheers!

Serene Sunday

All gussied up....but why??

Been Cooped Up

One thing on the property we'd contemplated was keeping the chicken coop area as is.  Well, upon closer inspection it wasn't quite the condition we expected.  A lot of the wood was rotten and the security of the roof and doors was lacking.  The enclosure also wasn't too our liking since we want the whole thing wrapped with sturdy wire (chicken wire does nothing for predators) and we want it all at least 6 foot tall.

One warmer day between New Years and when we would leave for a friends wedding Steve and I took on the task of removing all the parts and pieces.  We had to dissemble the wood and take the metal off (for the Durham recycling center).  It was a task since it was all nailed rather than screwed so we had to pry apart the various supports.

The chicken wire was stapled and folded over itself many times in areas so it was a pain to get apart but we eventually found a routine that worked quickly.

We created our large piles of wood and metal and then arranged it in order for the Durham dump station.  We would have to toss the wood first then the metal so we made sure the metal was at the bottom of the truck bed.  

 The area is so much more open now and allows a nicer view from the window.  We still want chickens but have a particular coop and location in mind but that won't be for a bit.

Family Fun and Holidays

The holidays are lots of fun and even though I have family coming to visit I always say I'm going to ride.  It rarely happens.  We had one day where we went to ride the horses.  Mostly because of weather but other times because we were doing family things.  I sometimes find it hard to  go out to the barn for a long period of time.  Sure we groom the horses and do regular care but training?  Nope doesn't happen.  I need to get over that.  Steve's parents visit often and for a couple weeks at a time.  I know they don't care if I go ride my horse they are pretty chill about things but I guess I feel guilty in a way.  Anyways...enough of that!

Armani enjoyed his location under the tree but at one point I had to clean up a yarf.  Normally I spray most of my decorations with bitter apple but this year I didn't have any so he ingested some plastic pieces that he promptly threw up.  Yuck.  Still he's always cute snuggled under the tree, particularly when Stubs joins him.

We decided to do appetizers for Christmas eve while we watched movies, Christmas Story is a tradition that we have to watch the night before.

We all gathered around the coffee table with plates, wassail (hot traditional spiced adult beverage) and stomachs ready to be filled with cheeses, meats, hummus, veggies, bacon wrapped things, little smokies and chip dips.  Not your healthiest affair but it was delicious

Everyone gathered to watch the favorite movie.  Even Stubs in her prominent perch was enjoying the flick though we shooed her away from the feast...not good for little one's tummy.

Christmas day of course meant presents and then a family dinner of prime rib, glazed carrots, broccoli and risotto.

It was warm and happy our little gathering.

Even though Armani only ate his cat food he was sleeping like he'd drank a bunch of wassail.

Obviously I had a few glasses of wassail so had to get some kitty cat and me selfies....cheers!!