Saying Goodbye to Stubs

 Stubs shared several posts on this blog back in 2013 and beyond when I started boarding Dani at a self care stable in Colorado Springs.

The origin of Stubs was one of the boarders had adult children that found 3 wild kittens.  Instead of taming them and neutering them the boarder decided that bringing them to the self care barn and feeding them there would be a good idea this was about a year before I'd brought Dani to the barn.  The kittens were not bonded to any humans.  The fate of one kitten was that it ended up in the clubs garage unbeknownst to anyone and perished.  The other disappeared (coyotes are potentially a stow-away in a horseshow person's trailer).  Then there was Stubs.

Stubs had a full blown tail at one point and I was told by the boarder that one day she found a bodyless tail on the ground.  Either a horse stepped on it or a predator.  Obviously Stubs had gotten away and survived the harrowing ordeal.  What a traumatic life.  My heart still hurts to think of her life there.  

When I joined the barn with Dani and learned of all this I made it a point to set out food and on occasion of seeing Stubs talking to her softly. She was an unnamed cat at at the time I didn't know her sex, the short stubby tail made me think Stubs was a good barn name for her.....um him.....lol.  That fall I'd heard from that one of the club members that this little kitty had a litter of kittens, okay. So now she was Little Miss Stubs.  They couldn't get ahold of her but when the kittens were old enough they adopted them out.  Stubs remained.

It was getting into winter and the time change meant I was there at the barn later when it got dark.  Stubs would appear near Dani and I's run to go eat her food.  I'd seen her a lot and stayed chatting with her often.  I started bringing wet food regularly and ended up staying quite a while with Dani and Stubs, the three of us just chilling in the evening hours.  

A polar vortex was on the way and I feared for this dear little girl having already spend a hard 1.5 year living outside pretty much on her own raising kittens....eating kibble yes but I know for sure mice and baby bunnies were on the menu.  I seen this tiny bobcat in action!  I felt a connection to her and wanted to give her a better life or at the very least get her spayed.

I talked with a coworker at the Public Health Department that worked with feral cats.  He said his wife would trap them and then brining them in for trap neuter release and he'd lend me a trap.  I wasn't sure about TNR.  As I was growing closer to her I felt we would eventually reach that trust level and she could be an indoor cat.  I just knew it in my heart that if I trapped Stubs, she would never have to live outside on her own again.

The trapping was a success but took several resets due to her small size.  I took her home and began the work of gaining her trust.  I was hissed at that first night but after that there wasn't too much animosity.  I fed her and spent the evenings with her in our guest room.  She warmed up to me and has been my dear Mini Meow ever since.

Stubs made good friends with Armani our tuxedo cat.  They snuggled and played.  Then in 2015 when we moved to NC with them, our two dogs and later Dani.  Stubs was always kind of my cat while Armani was Steve's.  Armani loved me too and cuddled with me as well but there was a special bond with Steve.  With Stubs, I was her person.  Steve could barely hold Stubs....she always seemed to have her paws pushing away from him or he held her like a machine gun.  She was affectionate with him don't get me wrong.  And in the last couple years with Steve working from home, she decided his desk was the place to be during the day.

Stubs slept by my pillow nearly every night.  She sometimes had times where she wanted to sleep elsewhere but after a weekend away she was then stuck to me like glue on the return. 

Her cute little trot down the hall was always the cutest thing to witness.  Without her tail there just seemed to be an added element of cuteness to that derriere of hers!  Even though she'd lost her tail tragically it never stopped her and it just added to her charm. She loved boxes as all cats did, but she seemed to take it to the next level of ridiculousness and managed to squish herself into the smallest boxes.

Other kitties joined the household as we found a kitten under a bush as my work or we had a lone neighborhood kitten eating food from our outdoor kitty we inherited from friends.  Stubs let them all know she was boss.  She was the smallest of the household but even the dogs knew who ran the show!

When my parents passed she knew when I was sad and made it a point to be near me whether I was sitting at my desk, the sofa or in the bedroom.  She was my forever comfort.  Later when Dani passed, and I sat waiting for the day to have the Agape Service company pick up her remains I laid on the sofa to cry and try to find distraction on TV.  Stubs snuggled next to me to comfort me in my need.

This past year she lost her friend Armani in May 2025, he was 17.  She didn't seem to have too much trouble but she again was comfort to both Steve and I in losing our dear Armani. 

Stubs had kidney disease that was under control with her diet but the past couple years she seemed to not keep as much weight on so she was in the vets more often. Recently this fall they got her on a blood pressure medication but didn't see anything worrying about her thyroid.  We tried to get her to eat more food.  Then she started to have major issues with her back legs.  Tests were all fine and it was concluded it was most likely a slipped disc.  We went the acupuncture route and over 4 weeks her mobility improved with getting her legs under her and standing up better.  She also had gained about a pound.

We were very optimistic that she would continue to improve.  We got steps for the bed and sofa so she could get to her favorite places when she decided she didn't need sequester herself in the office "I.C.U." that we'd built around her new chosen sleeping spot.

Then after her last acupuncture she seemed to be eating less.  She occasionally had days where she seemed a little in pain from all the movement she'd been doing. One evening we noted some more labored breathing but it was short lived. Then Steve noticed she had a harder say moving around, her legs seemed a bit weaker.  The labored breathing was back with a wheezing sound.  I recorded it so I could play it for the vet the next day and hopefully get a check up appointment.  I gave Stubs her evening meds but within a minute she started vomiting violently and the wheezing increased quickly, she was having convulsions.  I was suddenly panicked not knowing what was going on and tried to help her but she went limp almost immediately.  She passed within a few moments.  It was so sudden.  

The heartbreak is almost unbearable.  In May we lost Armani, July we lost Dani and now in February we lost Stubs...the last 3 of our dear critters that came with us from Colorado.  Losing 3 pets in less than a year.  That is really, really hard.

My dear Stubs was 14.  I'd hoped that the slipped disc was healing and that she'd be around a couple more years, though not quite as agile. I know only too well that you can't avoid the inevitable.  Something else was going on and though Stubs tried so hard in her last 2 months death comes for us all. I loved her dearly and feel like she loved me just as much.  She was my little girl, my tough nugget, my mini meow. My sweet dear Stubs, I hope you know how much you meant to me. I hope you know how much you were loved.  We tried our hardest for you.  I will miss you forever and cherish every moment that I had with you.  I love you.