Micromanaging Sellers- a personal rant

Part II Lexington Horse Shopping

I had to make this it's own post....  This may have been a personality thing or maybe some horse trainers out there feel like they need to be the ones to help someone connect with a horse....like people can't do it on their own.....sure I want to know a horses past and hear about their training but to feel like I'm under complete scrutiny is not a fun feeling. If you don't want to read a rant just move on to the fun post about my Lexington shopping experience here

I had an appointment in Lexington on Saturday with another breeder about an hour out from Lexington.  I'd chatted on the phone with her before and had been stressing out about meeting her.  The way she talked about her training process, and then the selling process where she was saying I would need to spend a full day or more looking at her horses (there is only the one for sale that I was interested in.....).  Let's just put it plainly; I felt this was going to be a very particular and picky lady.  

I gave her the benefit of the doubt though and arranged to see her Saturday instead of her being the first one we saw on Friday. That was our first day in Lexington I wanted to make sure I saw the number of other horses that sounded great in the area vs. having her monopolize my time. We arrived on Saturday to meet this horse.  The trainer had told me we would take an ATV out to the 70 acre pasture to get him so I could see him being caught.  Okay fun.  But that ATV ride was up and down some really steep hills and I was clinging to her and holding on for dear life.  I was expecting the same type of rolling fields I saw in Lexington but I guess it's far enough out to be in the foothills. The huge gelding came right up to us and was very friendly. He was only 15.1 but to me he seemed huge; how 2 inches makes a horse that much larger I have no idea! The lady handed me the halter, a standard one but with the throat latch unhooked so you put in on differently, not the way I do it so I struggled and she had to help. Immediately I felt like an idiot. I don't find that an easier way to put on a halter honestly...I've always found that odd.

We then headed back to the gate with horse in tow. She had me lead him through the gate and then she brought the ATV through and I wasn't sure if she was going to drive down first and us follow but apparently I was to lead him in front of her (under scrutiny...) Immediately I was told I needed to lead him differently.  He needed to be behind me with his nose at least two feet behind me.  I couldn't see where he was, it was the oddest thing.  I should have just said hell with it and led him the way I know to lead a horse...but with her I felt like I had to wait for her instruction.

  I felt like I was just holding a rope but I "led" him to the barn.  I want to see the horse so I know where they are while leading if they are way behind me they could plow into me with no warning.  I was starting to get on edge with this lady.  We went to the barn and stood there talking while I held the gelding and pet him a bit.  I don't even remember what she was saying at that point, I was already so nervous and shutting down.  She lunged him and he was being a little silly and even plowed into her at one point like he wasn't seeing her.  She then had me give it a try.  We just had the long lead rope, no stick and string which I'm used to since you get a bit more distance between you and the horse....it's an extension of the arm.  I slid my hand down the rope and up and did a point and cluck and got him moving but he was too close and I just had the rope to use to move him out of my space. 

Immediately she said I was doing it wrong I didn't even have a chance to ease into his way of going and mine and get my self situated with only the lead rope (which is limiting at least to me). I lunge Dani all the time but I have a 15 foot lead rope and a stick and string to communicate with her. Sometimes we have moments where it looks like complete crap until we get into the groove of communication.  I've never been good at twirling the rope end for lunging. The lady drew a circle on the ground and said I needed to stay in there and not chase the horse around, yes I understand that is the goal but new horse, different equipment, give me a moment.  I'm trying to get into the groove and not being given a second to think without her saying I'm doing this wrong or I'm doing that wrong, I'm too green with ground work etc etc. I can't think straight with that type of "instruction". Tell me what to do and give me some time to figure out what you are saying.  Everyone does stuff slightly different.

I was done with that shit though and was getting hot in the face and knew the tears were coming; I was pissed.  I felt like I needed to explain but couldn't fully.  I don't know why I said stuff about my past two years of being off from riding because of my parents deaths, my horses health issues etc. like I needed to apologize to her why I was rusty;  I don't owe this lady anything!  I left.  I was embarrassed and humiliated...and I'm a pussy. Why can't I just say "Hey give me a moment to digest what you want, it's different, I have different tools than I'm used to using and I disagree with some of what you have been telling me".  Also why can't people just let you have some time to feel things out? I have to learn to ask....no....I have to learn to TELL.  I need this....give me this...or I'll move on. I would have gotten there with the lunging, there is always the second of fumbling with the tools even with my horses.  I'm furious looking back about how I should have "fixed the halter first", just led the horse the way I've been taught since age 8 and then asked for what I'm used to for lunging a horse.  It's rough looking at other people's horses.